The truth

Gandhiji said “truth is God”, and a close friend has convinced me that God lies within us, then all the truth lies within us as well. I realized this very recently when I had all these questions and doubts that I wanted to find the answers to. Even after much retrospection and rewinding everything again and again I had no answers. I wanted to seek for those answers from people around me. I was sure I would find some answers by talking to the associated person(s). When I realized that wasn’t an option, I tried to let the questions be. I decided to move on with the questions lingering, consoling myself with assumptions and stories. Today I had a moment where I looked within myself, asking those questions to myself as if I was confronting someone. I seeked within me, and I instantly had all the answers. Everything made sense. I realize now that we are self sufficient to clear our doubts and answer all our questions. It’s true that the universe is within us and hence we, ourselves have all the answers that we seek. We just need to pause and confront our own inner self. So maybe in order to become closer to the truth, or God for that matter, we need to become closer to our selves, to know us better, be aware of our own inner self. Anytime that we have doubts, or any “why’s?”, “what’s” or “how’s”that we don’t have the answers to, we don’t need to ask anyone else or look anywhere else. We just need to look within.



I have heard nature works in coherence. ” You see, the universe has a plan and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, at some place, which eventually leads to a cyclone at some other far away place. It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the natural machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there”.

So randomness is not really that random. It is all planned, but by nature so we are unaware of the events, and when some event out of our daily normal plan occurs with us, we accuse it to be random. Its funny how we are ignorant of the fact that it is not really that random. We call it a coincidence and amaze ourselves with the series of events that coherently caused the particular event, and the finality that it leads to is what makes us wonder back to why it happened, what exactly happened, and how it was. When we are actually experiencing it, only sometimes we realize it too soon and bother ourselves with the WHY, HOW questions. Most of the time we don’t even realize the depth of it till the very end, until it is over, and we get a chance, the want to look back to it and appreciate it and the series of events that led to it, sometimes also wondering the otherwise. Had we not been there, done the same things on that particular evening, would it still lead to the same night or the next morning, and would we ever realize the things that particular event made us.
It is amazing how the cause of it happening turns out to be the reason it has to happen. The motive behind it happening. The element that triggered the event, the element that benefits from it is also unaware of the initiations and the gain. Even after everything has taken place, not until made noticeable, the significance is ignored by the ones whom it could matter most to, the ones whose life it could change to a great extent. The very smallest things, (The Butterfly Effect like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings) happen everyday, every moment which eventually lead to bigger occurrences somewhere else (like a cyclone). And we, the ones who are greatly affected by it, don’t even realize it most of the time, as we are lost in our lives yet too much to observe the dynamics of nature, and the production it has in store for us.

Closure, clarity, peace

As humans we always look for closure to things. We say things like sorry to end a fight, or to end our own guilt. We say thank you to show gratefulness. We like clarity, ending things. Clarity and conclusion give us peace. It’s simple human nature; uncertainty scares us. We can’t leave a puzzle mid way. We like to get answers to questions, solutions to doubts.
But what if you can’t get that closure, if something is just left, without any explanations, only assumptions and guesses that you can make. And what if you have the opportunity to get that closure, but maybe at a cost. How would you weigh your odds? What would you choose. Living your life with a question that Will never be answered, and consoling your self with guesses and assumptions or putting what is there at stake to  find the answers and closure you want. Would you take that chance to be at peace?

Mixed feelings

People say they are having mixed emotions. Mostly when they are feeling two emotions at a time; happy and sad; nervous and excited; afraid and respect…It happens! But how often do we have not a mixture but a supplement of multiple simultaneous emotions, not just two? You have no idea which amongst those are you supposed to react to, both in feelings and action.
Like I said earlier, there are always new emotions to feel in life. This I was aware of, but to be able to feel so many emotions all at once, was something I didn’t see coming ever.

Living it through

I’ve always had a hard time letting go off things, be it a pair of old shoes or an old notebook. These are just things and we have to let go of all things sooner or later. However, I have always believed that experiences are worth keeping, good or bad, there is always something to learn from them, moreover they have happened to you for a reason. Hence, I make an extra effort to remember everything I have experienced. I don’t keep a journal but every time I experience something that counts at that moment, or hits as a realisation even later; I take it in, and I remember it. Because I know it has influenced me in a big or small way, I talk about these experiences, to people, I write about them. They become stories in my life, stories that I have lived, stories that I don’t have to let go off, stories that I can hold on to forever. Stories to keep and share, and each time I tell a story I live through the experience yet again.

Why am I here?

Who are we? What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? These are questions we often think about but most of us don’t have the answers to. However there are a few amongst us who have found a goal in life and have managed to define to themselves their purpose in this life. So they have set a base for themselves and whatever they do in life is with the final goal in mind, and to help them attain that one goal. I never thought about my purpose in life or never attempted to answer for myself my goal in this life. I never felt the requirement to. I just always kept doing whatever I’m doing, going with the flow, regardless of the point of doing anything.
A recent conversation with someone got me to thinking more on what this goal in my life could be. She said she was yet to find her purpose in life which she was looking forward to defining very soon.
Retrospecting on the way I have thought/acted in the past and the way I think/act now in the present, and the way I plan to act in the future, made it clear to me. My goal in life is to do, to go with the flow, to do all the things without thinking of the significance of anything I’m doing. This thought takes me back to a saying by Gandhi, “Everything we do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that we do it, coz nobody else will.”
I know I’m here to do, hence I just want to follow my heart and do the things I’m meant to, significant or not!

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The other day, my niece (2 yrs now) tasted a mint for the first time in her life, and she wouldn’t stop breathing air in through her mouth to intensify the minty feeling on her tongue. Excitedly doing that over and over again, and then having another mint when the effect reduced and repeating the same. It was like watching her correspond with a new feeling, which made me think as to when could have been my first encounter with that minty feeling. We all experience different feelings through the years and experience each feeling at some time, for the first time: sadness, happiness etc. Somehow we have no recollection whatsoever of the first time we felt anything. Perhaps maybe few of them like the giddy feeling in your stomach when you are on the merry-go-round.

Then again we forget that feeling, until we experience it again, after a long time and it feels new all over again. Makes me wonder for how long will we find feelings new or will there come a time when we would have felt everything that was out there, and every other thing that we feel is just going to be like, Been there, done that! Or would we still be equally excited to feel the same things.

But then again there are times, even now when we feel something that we haven’t felt before, something new and we are baffled thinking, “OK! Now what is this?” How have I not felt something like this before? Most times, you don’t even know that feeling even existed, and now when you encounter it you are amazed, sometimes even if the feeling is a ‘not so good’ feeling, it still doesn’t fail to amaze you at its existence. Makes me wonder if there are other people out there who feel the same. Makes me wonder, how much more are we supposed to feel before all those feelings have been experienced, and if we have the capacity to absorb and contain all these feelings?