UNCERTAINTY

“The uncertainty of tomorrow lingers in my mind. 

Limiting my actions, my heart it binds.

Fear of the unknown, 

and the apparent that need not be shown.”

Life is full of uncertainties, but at some point uncertainty is what life is. You have reached a point, where you don’t know what to expect, even in the next minute, forget about long term. You can think all you want about tomorrow, the days to come, plan all you want, but it will just remain a mere imagination in your head. Like some virtual world, life, you are creating in your head, but when it comes to living it for real, it’s all uncertain. It makes you wonder, how are you supposed to live today then, if you have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow. What dictates your actions today, if tomorrow is uncertain? You start wishing things were more certain, so that you would know what to do next, what to expect. You think your actions today would make a lot more sense, if tomorrow were a little more certain. But then again, think about it, do you really want things to be certain, for sure! The word ‘certain’ has such finality to it.  As long as things are uncertain, there is room for hope, you can hope all you want, for whatever you want. You can work towards that hope, you actions today don’t have to be for something that is going to happen tomorrow, but rather for something that you would like to happen tomorrow. If things were more certain, you would lose the freedom that you have with your actions today, you would know exactly what you have to do, and you would have to do that, not what you want to do. So I guess uncertainty adds some room for imagination, i.e. freedom, space to your life. Uncertainty is good. Once things are more certain, there is only so much you can hope for……

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BLANK & THINKING

How can you be both blank and thinking at the same time? Lately, I have just been blank about almost everything. For someone who gets super hyped, and tensed over small things, I have been quite relaxed for even largely significant things, not relaxed in my thoughts, but very relaxed with my actions. Its like I have just let go of all the threads I was holding, to everything. I have just let go and I am just waiting for things to fall in place on their own. I don’t know if it will, cause they say that you need to do something to make something happen, and not just wait for time and destiny to do your work, cause that will never happen, you have to make things happen. Something like, “God helps those, who help themselves.” But then, what if you have tried and done everything that you could, and there
is nothing you or anyone can do anymore. When somethings are just out of your reach, what do you do about it, don you just wait and watch? When I was younger, I came across this prayer in some movie I was watching. It really helped sort my head quite a few times, so I always remember it. It goes like,

“Oh God! Please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the Wisdom to know the difference.”

Though sometimes, it makes me wonder, am I lacking the courage to change things, or being too serene and accepting things, or am I really being wise enough to differentiate between the things I can or can’t change? But then again, I am really relying on God, my instincts to give me that wisdom and hence I am acting based on those instincts. So at the moment I am not acting, I am just waiting and watching, and maybe that’s why I am blank, cause I am not really doing anything about anything, but not ignorant, so thinking about everything all the time.